We Believe in You
For Thomas.
I think I find it hard to hold on to my beliefs when they are being tested, don’t we all? Slightly silly example: I believe in non-violence towards children, but I have to fight hard not to sometimes hit my children! I’m not just saying that for a laugh. Sometimes my patience is tested so much that a thought flies through my head, if I just gave them an old-fashioned smack, then they’d behave in a much better way. Particularly one of my children, who really pushes all my buttons (no prizes.) However, they wouldn’t behave any better if I did, and what I’d be doing is making it far more likely that my children will then go on to think it’s okay to use violence and power to get what they want. In the short-term, they might appear to be better behaved, but really, they’d just be acting the right way out of fear, not from good judgement. I have to remind myself every day, that I hold my beliefs for a reason and that things that are worthwhile are almost always hard. Another example: I believe that organic food is better for my health then non-organic food and I believe that cooking from scratch, numerous times a day is the best thing for my family. But when I’m really tired, I sometimes wish that I could switch off and just get some bags of something from the freezer and heat it up in the oven, or that I could become a parent who lets their children have processed cereal for breakfast, instead of poached eggs (which now always cause a battle) or homemade muffins, or similar. But in weak moments, I remind myself that it is all worth it, because we now have four children who we sit with every single evening for a meal, we don’t have to prepare any ‘child friendly’ foods; everyone eats everything, and we talk (and sometimes shout and argue), and we connect and it is the fact that we are eating good food, that enables us to live fully and happily. So when I can’t be bothered, I remind myself of that and try to imagine how stressful it would be if my children only ate chicken swizzlers or chocolate hairypops or plain dinosaur pasta and that shores up my beliefs and gives me the boost I need to chop another onion.